Self-love is not self indulgent, conceited, or complacent for that matter. It’s essential to safety, healing and power. 

Why? Because to criticize, reject, or ignore part of yourself is equivalent to one part of your nervous system becoming an enemy of another. 

There is a domestic war, constant danger, and as in any war, everyone looses. 

Chronic tension and stress, burnout,  and maladaptive behaviors chip away at our physical and mental health and leak our energy, which could be used for our benefit. 

The standard, modern narrative promotes constant self improvement, with subtle messages that we are not enough, and that perpetuates self rejection, and self hatred.

Many social, and commercial agendas profit from this internal war, but if we can stop it, if we can end the war, WE are the ones who profit. 

We keep our money, tension disappears, we do things we love, rather than things we were taught we should do, we experience pleasure, freedom and agency. Boundaries become a sexy word, and “no” a safe haven. 

We give and love from fullness rather than obligation and burnout. We can love and accept others, because self love breeds compassion.

So let’s start with a few practices:

🌹 Make a list of qualifications, which make you a high quality partner, friend, employee, lover, person, leader, etc. 

🌹Answer daily: what do I love about myself? This one is basic, but important. You see what you focus on. Remember that you are not just collection of flaws. You are a collection of amazing stuff too. 

🌹Any time you walk by a mirror give yourself 3 outlandish compliments. “My outfit, is uniquely stylish”, “ I look stunning and effortlessly fabulous”, etc.

Let’s heal by becoming unabashedly smitten by our or unique beauty and make love, and not improvement, the focus of our existence.

With Love

Ania and Joseph